There are countless moments I wish I could take a mulligan on — as an entrepreneur, and as a person. I bet you have a few too.
Leading a company or team is a minefield for these moments. The job is hard. Our window of tolerance is often tiny. We’re under constant pressure: to land the next contract, keep the upset client happy, retain the restless star employee. You know the feeling.
Then, in the middle of that constant pressure, comes the moment that overflows the cup. And we react — usually poorly.
Here’s what I want you to do the next time that happens: pause.
Then ask yourself:
What kind of person do I want to be?
That question forces a beat. It interrupts the autopilot. It makes space for a choice – then, to proceed with full intention and awareness.
It also lets us try on a different identity:
- What if I was more forgiving?
- What if I was more curious?
- What if I had firmer boundaries?
- What if I was kind instead of nice?
Often, the outcome will be better. Sometimes it will just be different. At the very least, you’ll learn.
When a client crosses a line in a meeting, ask yourself: what kind of person do I want to be? Maybe it’s time to calmly set a boundary instead of firing back, or rolling over.
When an employee misses a deadline, ask yourself: what kind of person do I want to be? Maybe it’s time to ask why, with curiousity, instead of scolding, or ignoring.
When your partner does something that trips the irritation wire, ask yourself: what kind of person do I want to be? Maybe it’s a time to let it go. Or to bring it up gently and directly. Maybe empathy will work better than fixing.
One of the hardest things in life is knowing when to be what — when to forgive, when to stand up, when to let it go, when to press. But in those moments before we act, as leaders, friends, and partners, we always have a choice.
So in that next moment, take a beat. Ask yourself:
What kind of person do I want to be?